Using Values to Create a Family Identity

What is a value?

Brene Brown defines a value as, “ a way of being or believing that we hold important.”

When I was working in a clinical setting, I would often use values as a way of guiding individuals towards identifying their core beliefs that would be a source of direction in their decision making. This practice of identifying and defining values is hugely impactful. It creates a clear vision for individuals of what is most important to them and they then use these core values as reference points for choices and evaluation of current situations. If we are clear on what we value most, then we can plainly see when our decisions are or are not in alignment with our values.

I believe that we can use values as a way to create a family identity that will bind us to one another, as well as be a tool to help guide our families in a positive and united direction.

What is the importance of having a family identity? How will developing a shared vision for the family affect family unity and outcomes?  Dr. Stephen R. Covey discusses beginning with the end in mind in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families. He states, “the family cannot begin with the end in mind without a common vision.” Essentially, we need to make a plan now for what we want to have happen in the future for our families. It is plain to see that the world is much too confusing to just hope that our children will learn important things. If we desire for our children to have strong morals and good character, we must plan for how we will teach them the things we feel they should know.

While I was in graduate school for social work I was learning a lot from my educational experiences, mostly about the importance of preparing the home home environment to be a place of learning, love, safety and truth. Growing up, my family discussed a plan for a family motto, “Williams’s do hard things.” I remember it clearly and it stuck with me, but it wasn’t as memorable for my younger siblings and it wasn’t referenced back to much or posted anywhere in my home and so the sentiment faded for them. I thought about how impactful a printed statement of the family goals, values and favorite quotes/mottos could be in helping guide each member of the family to what kind of people we want to continuously work on becoming. So, I shared this idea with Lane and we sat down and wrote out our “Veach Family Values.” We identified the values we felt were important and wanted to instill in our future children and defined them specifically for our family. We identified a family quote and scripture that we felt embodied the goals we had for our family. Three years later, this statement of our values is now hanging on our wall in our family room and serves as a reminder for each member of our family of the kind of people we are trying to become individually, as well as the family unit we are working on growing towards together.

Creating a Hygge House Family Values Poster is the beginning of creating a plan for teaching characteristics that we want our families to embody and developing a strong family culture. When we can refer back to this statement of who we are frequently, each member of the family can easily see the vision and direction the family is moving forward in.

I truly feel that home needs to be a stronghold: that when a member of the family leaves home, they are armored with a clear understanding of who they are, a knowledge that they are loved, and with a strong sense of belonging to their family. If we can be more determined to do that in the home, I can only imagine the true difference it will make in each individual's physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. This values exercise will greatly impact the trajectory of our families.

Below you can find a free guide to creating a Statement of Family Values to be printed and placed in your home.

XOXO, The Hygge House